Woman orders boyfriend to marry her two best friends too

That altruism isn’t often so very true is a truism.

If you really think people are selfless, then you’re probably living somewhere remote where people need to rely on each other or they’ll die.

Either that, or you spent your formative years playing a child on a TV sitcom.

There can surely be no one, therefore, who won’t stop, blink and then spend many hours looking into the mirror, when they hear the tale of the bride who wanted to make her friends happy too.

Some brides can be smug.

They know their friends look at them with envy, wonder and even the odd injudiciously malicious thought.

Why her and not me? How did she pull him? How much is he worth?

These and other questions can swirl like a plague around otherwise friendly minds.

Let us kneel, therefore, in silent admiration for the bride who looked her future husband in the eyes and whispered: “Darling, marry my BFFs or we’re done.”

Naturally, I cannot guarantee these were her exact words.

The gist, though, as reported by Emirates 247, is that a Saudi man was told in seemingly uncertain terms that he ought to marry two friends of his bride.

It does help that the local laws allow this sort of thing.

For all the family.

For all the family.

This would not have gone down well on the Redneck Riviera, for example, at all.

Perhaps the fiance had visited the Redneck Riviera himself. For his first reaction was to laugh.

I feel sure, though, that his laughter was met by stern eyes and a bone-shivering resolve.

This certainty is enhanced by the fact that the man went through with the marriage. Well, with the marriages.

I wonder whether he had to order several engagement rings first and whether they were all different. Perhaps he used the services of Ocappi, which allows you to test-drive engagement rings before you buy.

Pleasing three women simultaneously and making them all feel special is not easy.

But what brains he got in the bargain.

His wife — his first fiancee — is a schoolteacher. Both his other wives turn out also to be schoolteachers.

Please imagine what exalted conversation might occur at the nightly dinner table, should he choose to enjoy a full family dinner.

You might think I am mocking. I am, but only slightly.

The wives have between them concocted a system whereby the whole family will meet nightly at the apartment at which their mutual husband will be sleeping.

Perhaps I forgot to mention. They each have their own apartment. What do you think this is? Some weird Salt Lake City thing?

How many people, at the moment of their greatest happiness, would take the time to ensure that those they might leave behind do not, in fact, miss a thing?

How many people wouldn’t bathe in the me-me-meness of a wedding and instead decide to make it we-we-we?

There will be some who believe that the Saudi man whose words of commitment were stretched to “I do-do-do” will be in great doo-doo when he has to finance three simultaneous families.

But this, in almost a throwback to America’s 60s, is one big happy family.

Perhaps this happy couple — quadrouple — will set an example for the Western world.

Wouldn’t it be far more convenient (for both sexes) to date not merely your lover, but his or her two best friends?

This would provide a much more complete picture of life, love and the serendipity of the universe.

It’s not as if conventional coupling has been all that successful lately.

So in a world where we’re all being told to be more social, let’s find every possible permutation of the word to see what works best.

Best for everyone, that is.