Pill By Mouth? When mom allegedly kissed son to pass him drugs

There are some things it doesn’t bear to think about.

Perhaps because they cause worry or hurt or a distinct, individual discomfort in several parts of one’s anatomy.

And then there’s an incident that is said to have occurred in an upstate New York jailhouse.

As the Smoking Gun shoots it, 54-year-old Kimberly Margeson came to visit her son. That’s what moms often do when their boys are in jail.

They bring cakes with chocolates and chisels in them. Well, sometimes.

Margerson, however, is alleged to have entertained a higher sense of oral satisfaction than can be had from a mere gateau.

Her son, William Partridge, a mere 30, had been locked up on a charge of illegally possessing weapons.

I entreat you to view a report from the Yates County Sheriff’s Department. For within it lie mysteries that might keep you up at night, or on your knees during the day in close proximity to your water closet.

The Sheriff alleges that Mergeson had secreted some Oxycodone in her mouth.

You might not be familiar with this drug. You might be more familiar with its colloquial branding as OxyContin. It exists to take your pain away. Or at least to soothe it for a while.

When you’re in jail, it can be a pain. Indeed, jail can bring you more pain than you ever imagined possible.

Oh, look, I’m trying to avoid what the Sheriff alleges here. Please be prepared.

For the accusation is that Margeson made to kiss her boy and passed him the OxyCodone. Yes, Pill By Mouth.

The accused kissers.

The accused kissers.

You will now, no doubt, attempt to re-create this action with your loved ones, co-workers or passers-by who look like they’re up for a little brightening of their day.

I, naturally, continue to draw in my mind — and on several discarded napkins — the potential geography of what may have occurred.

The Sheriff’s report is adamant that Margeson passed the pill “from her mouth to her sons mouth when she kissed him.”

This, at a minimum, inspires a picture of seriously adjacent lips. It will suggest a pushing of the pill from within one set of lips toward and through the other.

For some, though, it will offer a more colorful view.

It will offer the idea that in order to slip the pill from one mouth to the other, there would have necessarily been actual contact between some part of one party’s inner mouth with the other party’s.

This is where a sense of disturbance will set in — not unlike that when watching a tortoise try to have sex with a metal army helmet.

I refuse to sink to the depths of the New York Daily News, for example, which insists that this was a “French Kiss” between mother and son.

A quaint phrase, that. As if there was something called a “Bulgarian Kiss,” which consists, perhaps, of a peck on the cheek followed by a clout around the temple.

I will also not speculate whether there might have been Oedipal elements functioning here, though this mother clearly was prepared to go to great lengths in order to ease her son’s burden.

I will wait for the court case in order to see how the evidence might be presented.

I will wait to hear whether the judge, after an extremely hard day in the courtroom, might insist on a re-enactment in order to satisfy himself of the mere possibility of the alleged actions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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