Self-described pastor uses God as excuse not to leave a tip

If it weren’t for restaurant tips, servers and busboys would have no way of buying drugs at 2am to help them get over appalling customers.

A new tattoo of a snake eating a chicken would be out of the question. And you could forget the idea of buying shoes anywhere other than Goodwill or the rent for their 400 sq.ft. being paid on time.

Talking of goodwill, this is something a customer who claimed to be a woman of the cloth seems not to understand. She appears to be a woman who cuts her cloth according to God’s cassock.

At least, that was her excuse for not paying an 18 percent service charge that had been automatically added to her check of $34.93.

A Redditor called GateFlan posted a copy of a credit card receipt — which seems entirely genuine — of the pastor’s highly un-Christian recalcitrance.

The pastor had eliminated this $6.29 and helpfully added an explanation: “I give God 10 percent. Why do you get 18?”

The pastor’s celestial questions incite several more earthly ones.


Why does she only give God 10 percent? Does this mean that God’s not doing a terribly good job? There is certainly a case for that.

God is supposed to serve us a daily meal of joy, happiness and sharing. Instead, too many of us find ourselves resorting to social drinking or, worse, social networking in order to ease the pressure on our furrowed brows.

We seek community. We seek meaning. Meanwhile, it sometimes seems as if God has taken the day off in order to work on his tan in Cabo.

Another question that makes one furiously cross oneself is: What does the pastor do with the other 90 percent?

Is it possible that she finds it necessary to purchase items beyond the bare essentials because her own life is not aflutter with positives?

Is it possible that this pastor needs to keep the 90 percent in order to spend it on fortified grape juice and even more fortified entertainments, perhaps Chippendale-like, because her spirit is suffering a downturn?

Might this be because she feels her life’s work isn’t working, her faith has become unfaithful and her flock is behaving in an entirely un-sheeplike manner?

Because Redditors are generally spiritually exalted, they have begun posting quotes from the Bible.

Proverbs 14-31: “He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.

And there’s that classic Christism: “Whatsoever you do to the least of my people, that you do unto me.”

Apologists might surmise that she felt the server didn’t provide the required level of service. Perhaps she didn’t genuflect before the pastor. Perhaps she didn’t kiss her ring, metaphorically speaking.

But, surely, if the service had been awful the pastor would have expressed herself fully and explained in those delicate, hushed tones which pastors are trained to use to those beneath them.

She might have offered a Biblical quote that expressed how the server might do better.

She might have begun with Colossians 3:6: “Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.” She might have listed her complaints to accompany these words.

Instead, the comment she left on the credit card receipt was remarkably, well, materialistic. It was almost as if she was envious that someone might be worth 18 percent, where, perhaps, her parishioners are now offering her only a few old buttons and coins.

Sanctimoniousness never sits well when it comes from the Houses of the Holy. An expression of holier-than-thou from someone who really believes at heart that she is holier than thou often incites a cocked snook.

A high school girlfriend once explained to me — while we were making out — that I was going to Hell and she wasn’t.

This had nothing to do with any untoward hand or hip movements on my part. No, I was a Catholic and she was a Baptist and she believed she was on the side of the Right.

I thought this a little presumptuous. I thought her sense of self-worth a little strong. After all, I just liked her for the gap in her teeth.

We don’t know what’s up there or out there.

What we surely know is that taking $6 from a server and using God as the excuse is an act of which the little red man with the pitchfork for a lance and an arrow for a tail would be very proud.


Image: GateFlan/Reddit