Mark Sanford’s Win Is A Victory For Truth

Some will offer jilted, stilted words on hearing that Mark Sanford was voted into Congress on behalf of a South Carolina district and that the offspring of Stephen Colbert and George Bush was not.

There will be screams of anguish that it is possible to behave in a manner that inspires multi-syllabic words that end in “cker” and still gain power and influence.

The liars have won, the hurt will say.

The honest, the truthful, the hardworking have no chance when manipulated by those who would happily exchange Pampers for the Pampas.

At least in South Carolina.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. Or closer.

Sanford’s soaring win isn’t a triumph over adversity. It’s a triumph of perversity.

I am not making some tawdry throw-away of sexual suggestion here. I wouldn’t dream of offering some cheap jape about putting the agony into Patagonia or the gent into Argentina.

I am explaining how we are all South Carolinans.

They're just good friends.

They’re just good friends.

Here are these God-fearing, God-loving, family-focused people cheerily marching to the polling stations to vote for someone whose behavior they personally despise. Theoretically.

But given the choice between sheer evil (adultery) and an even sheerer evil (a Democrat) the good God-fearers stood tall and proud.

They decided to embody traditional American forgiveness above traditional American integrity.

They decided to filibuster the filly, because she threatened the disorder of things.

It is our hypocrisy that saves us. It is our hypocrisy that defines us as human.

We can go to church every Sunday, cross ourselves and suffer the little children before we make them suffer.

We can pillory abortion, yet try to force our mistress to have one.

We can say “I do,” when what we really mean is “I do right now, but I’m only human, right?”

The people who voted for Mark Sanford did so in the full knowledge of who and what they were voting for.

In the end, they voted for Sanforization.

To quote the blessed brains of Wikipedia, Sanforization is “a method of stretching, shrinking and fixing.”

We stretch the truth. Sometimes we have to shrink it for the common good.

And sometimes, we just have to fix it.

But it’s always the truth, right?


Image: CNN/YouTube Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk