Brothers win Lottery, allegedly buy drugs and blow up house

When you win the Lottery, I imagine your emotions can wander along an exalted, but jagged path.

You feel elated. You imagine how you might use the money. Perhaps for a moment, you think about whom you might share it with.

For longer than a moment, you might thank your version of a creator for offering you good fortune and finally making you richer than almost everyone you know.

Which is precisely what you always thought you deserved.

I wonder, though, whether all these heightened sensations would make you blow up your house.

It depends on how jagged your emotional path might be, I suppose.

In the case of two brothers from Wichita, Kan., it seems that their inner lineman was no longer on the line.

Indeed, it seems he might have preferred a line of coke. Or at least some marijuana and meth.

At least that’s what the police suggest led them to celebrate with Belushiesque abandon.  So much so that they blew up their own house.

As KWCH-TV describes it, the two brothers won $75,000 on a scratch card.

So they scratched their chins and thought about the perfect way to celebrate.

The police say the lights of their eyes fell upon the idea of lighting up their bong.

Some of the damage.

Some of the damage.

However, it seems that these two characters were refueling the butane torches they needed to effect this event, and what resulted was less an Olympic flame and more a Big Bang Practice.

You see, the pilot light on their furnace apparently ignited the fumes and the bong went bang.

As did the windows of their house and the nerves of their neighbor, Mary Jewett.

“It shook my whole kitchen and it shook my kids bedroom,” she told KWCH-TV.

Many will hear that one of the brothers was immediately arrested, while the other was taken to a hospital burns unit and immediately pass judgment.

They will scoff and utter words such as “stupid” “justice,” and “mindless, half-witted morons.”

I prefer to imagine that these two poor men were so wracked and tortured by their sudden good fortune that they simply couldn’t decide what to do with the money.

They were so overcome with thoughts of how they could change their own lives and that of others.

There were so many deserving causes that they needed to chill out for a little while to consider their options.

What transpired was that their own actions showed them the light.

For now they will spend the money on defending themselves against drug possession charges. Oh, and on much-needed repairs to their house.


Image: KWCH-TV Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk